I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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