No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
