So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
