Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
