Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
