Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
