He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize