once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
