I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize