I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
