Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
