Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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