Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize