I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
