More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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