It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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