i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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