no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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