Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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