Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
