My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
