you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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