it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sober January is a disaster.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
