If i come over, it means nothing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
