no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
