I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
