so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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