It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Shame is for Republicans.
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