What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
