pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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