Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
farters have to be the big spoon...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize