drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
