she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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