so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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