i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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