I hate all girls vehemently.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
