32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
