so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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