@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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