I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
