the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize