farters have to be the big spoon...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
