It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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