i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
