And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
