Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
