now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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