i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize