Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
