Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize