they need to just BURY HIM!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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