In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
