sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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