i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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