Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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