he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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