Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i will never coherently bang her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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