dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
