We're facebook friends in real life
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
