Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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