We won't sleep together?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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