I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
