Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize