Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
