I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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