i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
